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The church: St Mary the Virgin, Bourne Street, London. For previous Mystery Worshipper reports on this church, see Nos. 191 and 192.
Denomination: Church of England.
The building: A not particularly attractive church (externally anyway) of the late 19th century, enlarged by Goodhart-Rendel. The interior is a different matter and has many furnishings by Martin Travers (especially the high altar). It is the height of Anglican Baroque and was the model church for the now defunct Society of St Peter and St Paul.
The neighbourhood: Just round the corner from Peter Jones and Sloane Square, so a deeply expensive and wealthy area. Round the other corner, however, are several pretty grotty Peabody housing estates. Classic London intermingling of rich and poor localities. Underground trains go right underneath the church and are very audible as well as making the place shake.
The cast: Preb. Bill Scott (the vicar and celebrant), Fr. Nick Mercer (the curate and deacon), Canon the Lord Pilkington of Oxenford (honorary curate and preacher), Nigel Seed QC (chancellor of the Diocese of London), sundry assistant clergy (one in scarlet cassock denoting him as a chaplain to the Queen), servers and lawyers.
High Mass for the 50th anniversary of the accession of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Second.
How full was the building?
Not bad for a weekday evening. Perhaps about 100 (including the cast) in a building that could seat 175.
Did anyone welcome you personally?
Two women (one in a startling white hat and gloves) said "Good evening" and gave me a service sheet. Then two friends of mine who had also turned up greeted me so I had to go and sit with them.
Was your pew comfortable?
It was a comfortable wooden chair.
How would you describe the pre-service atmosphere?
My friends insisted on chattering to me, but otherwise an atmosphere of quiet anticipation. The musicians made a bit of noise getting into the gallery. A woman in the front row was saying the rosary, a fogeyish young man behind me was reading The Spectator. The boy curate came in just before the beginning, accompanied by a youngish man who seemed to have a wooden leg. Nothing about the clientele here would now surprise me.
What were the exact opening words of the service?
After the processional hymn (see below) the choirmen sang the plainsong introit, "Worthy is the lamb that was slain". The first words spoken by the celebrant were: "In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit..."
What books did the congregation use during the service?
New English Hymnal (only one hymn and the National Anthem were sung by the congregation), and a printed service sheet, which gave the text of the prayers and the music. A mass booklet was also in the back of each seat.
What musical instruments were played?
The organ, two violins and a cello. A not bad choir sang Mozart's Coronation Mass, Handel's Zadok the Priest and Byrd's "O Lord, make Thy servant, Elizabeth our Queen..."
Did anything distract you?
Everything and nothing was distracting. The thurifer was left-handed and the MC was very officious.
Was the worship stiff-upper-lip, happy clappy, or what?
The highest of high Anglo-Catholicism with more than a touch of tongue in cheek. Very well-drilled servers, much incense, birettas put on and off by the clergy, eastward facing... marvellous. The best bit, though, was the solemn entrance. This consisted of a large verger in gown, bands and Durham BA hood leading them in with his verge. Then came the altar party in white vestments (Fr Scott's biretta had a red pom-pom as befits his prebendal status), then came the two churchwardens in morning dress, one very small and thin, the other colossally fat and tall, both carrying baroque churchwarden's staves. Then came a man with another rod of office wearing a solicitor's gown, followed by the registrar of the Diocese of London in wig and gown. The best bit of all was that at the rear of the procession was the chancellor himself, dressed in full-bottomed wig, buckled shoes, stockings, breeches, jabot and lace cuffs and carrying white gloves. He looked a bit like Judge Jeffreys without the humour. He was led to a seat at the front and, at the offertory, was solemnly censed. The same procession happened on the way out. Fantastic.
Exactly how long was the sermon?
8 minutes.
On a scale of 1-10, how good was the preacher?
6.
In a nutshell, what was the sermon about?
Canon Pilkington talked of the importance of hereditary monarchy as a bulwark against parliamentary despotism. He also mentioned that the monarch holds several duties towards the church and that we should give thanks for the service of the present Queen in that regard. It was OK. Nothing brilliant and nothing mind-boggling awful. He got in a couple of good jibes against the French which everybody enjoyed.
Which part of the service was like being in heaven?
The singing of Zadok the Priestâ as the altar was censed at the offertory and the consecration of the host. In the midst of all this fun was the reason why we were there.
And which part was like being in... er... the other place?
Nothing, really. The soprano went horribly sharp during the Agnus Dei and the communion step is incredibly uncomfortable on the knees. Otherwise it was all splendid.
What happened when you hung around after the service looking lost?
As I was now with two friends I couldn't look lost (indeed had to be very cagey about the Mystery Worshipper stuff).
How would you describe the after-service coffee?
Champagne was served in the library of the Presbytery after mass, to which all were invited. About 40-50 of us went, which made for a jolly occasion. Grand dames and artistic young men all jostled together amiably.
How would you feel about making this church your regular (where 10 = ecstatic, 0 = terminal)?
8 – I love all this stuff but am already committed somewhere else on Sundays.
Did the service make you feel glad to be a Christian?
Undoubtedly.
What one thing will you remember about all this in seven days' time?
The chancellor of the Diocese of London in solemn procession.
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