Exactly how long was the sermon?
16 minutes.

On a scale of 1-10, how good was the preacher?
Content: 9; delivery: 10. The preacher's incisive, engaging, and slightly theatrical style caught and kept my attention. But the sermon could have benefitted from including some useful information that applies to real life.

In a nutshell, what was the sermon about?
Temptation is everywhere; when we give in to it we abandon our deepest values for something that is counterfeit. Through our baptism, the Holy Spirit gives us strength to resist temptation. Inspiring as the preacher may have been, I felt the need for more specific tools of resistance, since the ones I use haven't been working all that well. As Mae West once said, "I can resist anything except temptation."

Which part of the service was like being in heaven?
The bread! Usually the priest says, "The bread of heaven" and hands you a dry metaphor that deliberately offers no carnal satisfaction. Not at this church. The bread was indeed heavenly – chewy, moist, slightly sweet, with a faint aroma of yeast. I still regret not going back for seconds, which I could easily have done. Perhaps my ability to resist temptation is better than I give it credit for.

And which part was like being in... er... the other place?
It happened while the priest was singing the service. Just at the Sanctus his ability to carry a tune finally departed for good and the last few notes wandered off into a previously undiscovered key. At that point the choir rescued the situation by leaping in smartly with full voice and accurate pitch.

What happened when you hung around after the service looking lost?
Nothing. I got a brief handshake from the preacher, who was busy talking to some parishioners, but nothing was said or implied about coffee. It seemed that everyone knew each other already. Perhaps they may not have been used to strangers; though their phone message is welcoming the barbed wire is a bit off-putting. Another possibility is that they get so many visitors they just wait to see if someone comes back before trying to get acquainted. I also had the sense that the real social action happened between services, which would explain the chatty mood at the beginning.

How would you describe the after-service coffee?
There was none, so I went to Starbuck's, where my tall whole-milk latte was just fine, thank you.

How would you feel about making this church your regular (where 10 = ecstatic, 0 = terminal)?
Oddly enough (given their treatment of strangers) 10. The congregation had a diverse mix of ages, races, and so forth, yet people seemed very pleased to see each other and hung around talking for several minutes after the service. I felt that anyone who started to show up regularly would eventually be adopted into a caring, supportive fold that valued a wide range of personalities. But I could be wrong.

Did the service make you feel glad to be a Christian?
Yes, of course. That's why I went. Being an Episcopalian can sometimes cause embarrassment, however.

What one thing will you remember about all this in seven days' time?
The lovely processional cross, which was also an image of a leafy tree. And the barbed wire, of course. It's not a feature I usually associate with churches.