He can normally be relied on for his beaming smile, ruddy cheeks and hearty laughter. But no more. Santa has been convicted of sin and weeps in penance over the Holy Babe, while "O Come All Ye Faithful" plays movingly on a concealed microchip. There can be only one explanation: Santa has been received into the Catholic Church. His statuette, like the statues of all Catholic saints, now weeps, bringing a welcome note of misery to Christmas.

Wreck someone's seasonal happiness with this 5.25" Santa, made from porcelain, wood and brass. Gift boxed. Genuine painted tears.

Only $30. Click here to order.