Ship of Fools: Miss Molly

Miss Molly, one of our shipmates, died Wednesday, 18 December, in Salt Lake City. In the past few months she shared her life and her approaching death with her shipmates on our bulletin boards, with warmth, honesty and clear-eyed faith. Her beautiful Fields of Gold thread is her legacy to us. Erin Etheredge, our projects editor, pays tribute to Miss Molly, with mourning and celebration.

i know that i am bound
for a journey down the sound
in the midst of a refuse mound
but wotthehell wotthehell
oh i should worry and fret
death and i will coquette
there's a dance in the old dame yet
toujours gai toujours gai

I find it difficult to speak of death, even when I know it's really the beginning of forever. I think of those people and places and experiences that make this life worth living, and the thought of leaving them behind paralyzes me. Knowing what I know – living with the assurance of Christ's resurrection – still, it paralyzes me.

It's interesting, though, how when you think you've got it all sussed, God pretty much laughs in your face. A friend of mine calls it "God's Candid Camera", and I think he's right. Somehow, some way, God brings you into contact with someone who will turn your assumptions on their ear and change your life forever.

Miss Molly is that person for an awful lot of people around here. Boarding the ship just under a year ago, she quickly became involved with – and beloved by – the ship's social set, making friends on the boards and in the café.

In July of 2002, Miss Molly's doctors discovered multiple tumors throughout her lungs. Cancer: a devastating, inoperable and terminal diagnosis. This was it – the end of this journey, and the beginning of the next. And dear, sweet Miss Molly, not one for self-pity or wallowing in regrets, faced it with remarkable grace, courage, dignity and humor. Yes, humor. Those of you who've clocked time in a hospital will know exactly what I'm talking about.

What has been amazing for me to see is how she shared this final journey with the entire ship. Posting almost daily since her release from the hospital, Miss Molly has shared her life and her loves with us, and taken a great deal of delight and interest in our own. Even as she prepared for the next great adventure – and to her, it is an adventure – she was still looking out for us.

She did not shy away from the hard questions about her impending death, but answered them honestly, graciously and with élan. Through her messages, she has enabled all of us to confront our own deaths by allowing us to share in hers. It has been a privilege to walk with her these long, last miles.

Even as her strength slipped away, Molly regaled us with tales from the dark si... tales from the hospital, including the trials and tribulations of undergoing a CT scan and the night she crashed during chemotherapy. You could see the devilish grin on her face when she recounted how the nurses thought she was a famous person gone incognito, due to the overwhelming number of cards, phone calls, emails and gifts she received.

She's gone now, crossed over Jordan. We are left behind, not only to mourn but also to celebrate the life of one who gave of herself to the very end.

oh i should worry and fret
death and i will coquette
there's a dance in the old dame yet
toujours gai toujours gai

We miss you, Molly. Godspeed.