Review of Scene 13
The wise men leave by a different route
By Our Man Clearly on Drugs, Steve Tomkins

I'm impressed. Maybe there is something in this sentimental story after all.

One visit to the Christchild has utterly tranformed the wise men from a bunch of vague, meandering, incompetent loonies into a squad of focused, coherent, determined loonies. All four of them are there, in the same universe as a whole, communicating with each other and all trying to escape Herod and get home.

Admittedly, their adventures do involve getting chased by Imperial Destroyers and unexpectedly getting teleported to 1st century Paris, but I think there's room for a little more such excitement in the nativity.

Fairy Godmother of course magics them back to the Ur-Palestine customs/Herod's palace/central Texas depending on whom you believe. The looming figure of Herod makes the second seem the most likely.

"Quick guys," cries Wise Man 2, "it doesn't take a genius to realize we should leg it." Just as well, really, especially as they've already been sitting there for half an hour and it takes them another 20 mins to think to start the bus and drive away.

The fellas have their poor brains completely mangled by the logical conundrum of what to do with a phone in order to have a conversation on it, and the narrator comes to their aid with some very helpful narrative devices:

Now, Herod. Any more trouble and the next Narrative Device will be Flashback, and you'll find yourself bed-wetting again.

The climax is a breathtaking helicopter chase – rather dangerous on stage, but well worth it – where they throw sheep droppings from the bus at Herod's helicopter until Wise Guy pushes the red and pink stripey button on the dashboard and stripey wings unfurl from the side of bus to the tune of "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang". Once they realize it can go underwater, they're safe and can relax a bit with the sheep.

So what do you know, even the wise men are redeemed – quite spectacularly. And what an interesting experience to have my own sex life discussed so openly on stage. And all so true. It made for very good theatre, and should probably be the central theme to next year's play.

© Ship of Fools 2002