Review of Scene 10
Shepherds visit
By Our Man in Lowly Stable, Steve Tomkins

After 24 hours of parenthood, and about 24-and-a-half of marriage, how are the blessed couple faring?

The approach of visitors bearing sheep brings their first crisis: Mary has to go and get made up, so who's going to change the holy infant's sacred nappy? (terries, of course, because it would be unfortunate to implicate the young Jesus in environmental unsoundness). Even when Mother Mary has drawn Joseph away from watching Roma SPQR on widescreen with her most serenely dangerous tones, the prospects are not good.

"Nappies, eh? That doesn't really sound like my bag, baby. Tell you what – I'll sing to the little guy, and you can do it instead."

Not being tied down to scripturally prescribed presents like the wise men, the shepherds have full scope to let all the vastness of their imagination have free rein in their choice of gifts – so they bring sheep and beer. Chief Comic Shepherd brings his own unique perspective to communicating the mystery of the incarnation:

"Blimey, the bottom must of fell out of the kingin' business, if they gets born in a shed!"

At last, while she and Jesus are having their lunch behind a haystack, his Evil Twin reappears, having been found by Chief Comic Shepherd in an establishment round the corner. ("It's just... she's run up a bit of a tab at the bar, like. I don't know if you could see your way clear to popping in...?")

There follows some heated exchanges on such subjects as whether little Cyril Lavinia will be subjected to ballet lessons. Interestingly, Jesus doesn't voice any objections to Mary's plans for him to do karate. Just showing his celebrated meek-and-mildness, or is his language development surprisingly far behind his twin sister's? I think we should be told.

© Ship of Fools 2002