Nativity Play

Review of Scene 4
Meet Mary and Joseph
By Our Man at the Play, Steve Tomkins

Well, how about this? All characters present and correct (though hardly in the political sense of the word in Joseph's case). We have rhymes that rhyme, we have plot, we have character, we have dialogue, we have some actual acting, and we have the gorgeous Mary in the bath. Of course, this is by no means as important as her getting the chance to develop the role and find her voice, but still.

All we need now is for a vet to take care of that cat and for the shepherds to do a deal with the butcher, and we're laughing.

Admittedly, when the Narrator announced,

Here's a thing that's most sublime
Joseph shows us his "Tool Time."
I thought things might have taken a wrong turning, but apparently that was just me. This splendid slot involved making not only a table but a wooden boy who starts moving, wants to become real and so has to be cut up with a buzzsaw. Surely this is what Christmas is all about, and a beacon to nativity plays everywhere.

Joseph is a "get me a scotch on the rocks and Pringles", mother-in-law-joking bloke of the old school. As in this fairly creative interpretation of the text:

Whatcha gonna do about it, feminazi? Huh? Huh? Nothing. Let me tell you why. Because I've got balls, and you don't. That's why.
Perhaps we shouldn't be too harsh on him considering that the feminist movement won't be around for another couple of millennia, but then again maybe we should.

I can well see him getting dumped before the show is over, especially considering his girl is much hotter than I ever remember the Mother of God being before.

The news that Mary is pregnant does not go down too well, and leaves Joe getting in touch with his emotions and sounding like a bad pop song:

I need some space.
I need some time.
What we had was so beautiful!
Who's going to bring me my Pringles from now on?
Of course, everything turns out all right in the end after he has a little think:

I'm not sure I buy this angel malarkey. Sounds a bit fishy to me. However, my Pringles are important to me... So you can stay. For the time being. Oh Mary, I love you!
A token angel does turn up later to confirm Mary's message, but after a heartbreaking turnaround like that it hardly seems necessary.

The only thing missing was the Evil Twin, who turned up slightly bizzarely only after Mary had left, but better late than never.


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