Review of Scene 3
The wise men discover the star
By Our Man Hogging the Biscuits, Steve Tomkins

Hmm, a pattern seems to be emerging. One hour into scene three, no wise men, no star.

Fortunately, the overcasting had actually lined up not only three wise men, but two magi and a couple of wise guys, a total of seven. So while four failed to show up at all, we had the requisite three by the end of the second hour. No star (till a stand-in wondrously appeared in the east three hours later), but then you can't have everything. In fact, with some casts you're lucky to have anything at all. With this one you might quite possibly be luckier to have nothing.

Some character notes on the wise men:

The main characteristic in each case seems to be aimlessness and bewilderment, evidently having decided to go with the minority scholarly reading that the Greek word magoi in St Matthew's Gospel is best rendered "moron". I suppose, to be fair, wise men are not at their best on a starless night.

Beyond that, Chief Wise Man's main character note is solipsism: unaccountably oblivious to presence of other wise men, he stumbles around the stage oddly convinced that it is in darkness. Crown too big, maybe.

Wise Man 2 is conspicuous for being the only one of the trio who is even remotely interested in stars, to the extent of actually knowing where to look for them.

Wise Guy's only apparent interests are sheep (some of whom have put in the most consistent performances so far, take that as you will). In fact, the chemistry between Wise Guy and Rudolf the Red-Nosed Sheep is rather more sparky than anything we've had a chance to see between the leading couple to date, so one to watch.

As far as plot development, they eventually managed to get themselves on a tour bus and head off for Palestine. Good show. Not quite so promising on the present front. Gold and myrrh seemed to be in distinctly short supply, and the nearest thing to a gift we saw was Wise Guy's plastic bag of greenish, herbal "incense" – about as appropriate a gift for a baby as myrrh, I suppose.

Towards the end of the evening, the wise men were evidently warming up to their roles, and managed something excitingly close to dialogue. Chief Wise Man delivered a set piece of rather good gift-wrapping tips for men.

It was good to see the versifying Dragon back in action, especially in that tricky first hour, with valuable suggestions for a republican Christmas.

The Award for Worst Rhyme goes to the Narrator for the sublime Balthasar/death-star/Judea and Casper/wonder/tie-fighter. That will taking some beating, but don't give up the rest of you, you can do it!

As he was very generous with the chocolate biscuits in the hospitality suite, I must also put in a good word for the musical director Chris: nice biscuits.

And I almost forgot the second Wise Guy who arrived four hours late after all the rest had gone and tried to do the adoration singlehandedly, without the baby and without bothering to go to Bethlehem. That's the spirit.

Tomorrow, Mary and Joseph through the keyhole. I have great hopes for a bit of romantic development here, and that it might even become watchable.

© Ship of Fools 2002