Letters appear here with the most recent stuff at the top. If you'd like to write to Ship of Fools, simply click here.

Several readers have helpfully written in to point out the uncanny resemblance of certain Christian leaders to other famous people, living and dead. Click on these handy links to jump down the page to see these 'separated at birth' examples…

Noble friends – Concerned by the effect of global warming on the health of missionaries in sunnier climes, I am starting a fund to equip our intrepid fellow-labourers in fields afar with a most excellent device brought to my attention, some time ago, by one Captain Moonlight – a frequent contributor to an highly estimable and moderately popular 'independent' broadsheet.

The device in question consists of a standard solar topee – sometimes flippantly called a missionary helmet – fitted with an evaporation pan and a small fan powered by a solar cell. If the head is kept moist or the pan filled with water, the cooling effect involving the latent heat of evaporation of the water is said to be most beneficial and would assuredly assist in cooler blood, calmer thinking and a more effective spreading of the gospel.

Pledges of assistance to spread the word of this great enterprise to equip every labourer may be offered by communicating with me through the address of my good friend and associate named above. Through this address, further details may be provided in a year's time. Yours in sacred service, Wilberforce Theodore Stratton (Founder), Cooler Missionaries Society.

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Dear Ship of Fools, I wish to inform you that you have imposters in your midst. I AM the real Brett Grey, a mild-mannered vicar who comes from Dartford, but who, in the call of charismatic duty, transforms by the power of the second anointing into... REVIVAL MAN.

These imposters have tried to make out that either I am anti-revival or that I don't take revival seriously. These subversive legalists shall be weeded from our midst. Already I have sent special agent G. Coates to eliminate them, and through my special hypnotic powers transmitted through Vineyard Worship tapes, I will TAKE OVER THE WORLD FOR JESUS. All you weak-minded, anti-move-of-the-Spirit morons at Ship of Fools, beware.

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The Lord has revealed to me in a dream that you and your well-meaning organ are looking for co-workers to visit the dispersed congregations of the faithful and bear witness to their annointed ministery, as the prophet Nahum bore witness to the cows of Tyre (or did I dream that as well?). I really feel the Lord just telling me that, lo, here I am willing to serve the sheep of his vineyards.

I'm sure you'll be blessed to know that I have a genuine discernment-ometer that will give infallible readings of the true spirituality of the worship to three decimal places. It also measures the annointment of the leadership and such useful things, and it has a little alarm that detects anyone thinking lustful thoughts or wearing non-biblically approved clothing. But let not the glory go unto me who am but a loin to issue forth the fruit of divine pronouncments.

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Well, not even famous yet, and there are already pseudonymous works attributed to me. The culprit is known and he will pay. Revival, by the way... is it the ultimate red herring, a plot by transatlantic airline companies? Perhaps too often it's the chance for university educated middle-class Christians to turn off their critical faculties and get a little gestalt therapy on the cheap.

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Hiya kids. My name's Brett Grey [surely B. Graham? – Ed.] and I'm all for revival. Consequently, I became a top lung surgeon, and revival has broken out in my hospital ward. I also had a friend who tried to revive corpses in graveyards, but he got arrested by the police. Does anyone else have any revival experiences ? Halleluyah!!

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Welcome back :)… we also may resurrect a magazine called Nous… you are an inspiration… but then you knew that.

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A friend informs me that "chiurch" is, in fact Gaelic for, "to pass wind". Perhaps there is a Pentecostal theme here?

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I've decided to start a collection of front pages of the Church of England Newspaper. Blunders don't get any better than this. Whoever was responsible for a banner headline in which the word "Church" is spelt "Chiurch?" Perhaps they ought to devise a signboard for their place of worship with the words: "Chiurch: what's out of place?"... So, what does NEC stand for? The Chiurch of England Newspaper, what else?

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From James Calvin Donald Webb (Zdxa047@kcl.ac.uk)…

Am I the only one to have noticed that if John Calvin got a grade 3 haircut, then he would look suspiciously like Shaun Ryder from Black Grape? This has perplexed me, and I intend to publish a tract on the matter entitled, 'Calvinists and Other Farmyard Animals'.

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Isn't it sad that people have to pretend to be someone they aren't when writing in to Ship of Fools? It saddens me to see so many of my fellow correspondents using pseudonyms because they are socially stunted. I praise the Lord that I am not like that. No, not me. By the way, have you read my Institutes?

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From TsarWars (TsarWars@hotmail.com)…

Am I alone in noticing the uncanny resemblance between Grigory Rasputin, the mad monk who mesmerised the court of Tsar Nicholas II, and wild-haired Graham Cray, who has a similar ministry at Ridley Hall, Cambridge? Surely the hairstyle alone compels us to reconsider the case for reincarnation?

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Dear Ship of Fools, Please help me. My Calvinistic tendencies are leading me to ruin. I often find myself predestined to gargle with vinegar and dance a rhumba to Graham Kendrick. As you can tell, I am obviously very sick. Please can you cure me by quoting free-will verses at me and forcing me to wear very uncomfortable sackcloth. Thankyou.

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This is great! Cult experts have pointed out that one of the first signs of a pathological religious nature is the loss of a capacity for irony. Kierkegaard would be proud of you guys.

Quite seriously, the work of Ship of Fools seems a necessary one. The loss of ability to laugh at oneself usually results in the loss of ability to accept criticism or even invoke common sense. When I look at Christendom in my native USA, or in England which has come to be my home, it's at times almost enough to make you cry. In God's strange economy, where the first finish behind and the foolish amaze the wise, a few fools should go a long way.

I'm all for a little unrest.

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My thoughts: they are too grand to be placed within such a minimalist site such as yours. Nevertheless, I will allow one important thought to grace your pages, and it is as follows:

If Jesus said to Peter, "Feed my sheep", why did Peter not become a shepherd? His disobedience is a poor example of Christian discipleship.

That is my great thought. I have many other thoughts, but due to my gnostic nature I cannot reveal them to you until the Lord instructs otherwise. Blessings, brothers. Edward.

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I worship cabbages, but I like Ship of Fools.

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With February 14th fast approaching, it seems appropriate to remind your readers of whose feast day it is. I am of course referring to none other than St Conran, bishop of some obscure island off the coast of Scotland, and patron saint of single people. How remarkable that his day should coincide with the lesser feast of St Valentine. In typical pagan fashion, the secular world has fastened on the wrong feast day. Time to set things straight. Apart from anything else, haven't couples had their reward?

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It has been a great experience. I have not laughed as much in years as in the last half hour reading your wonderful magazine. I only wish that I was in a postion to assist, other than by reading. Keep up the great work – you prove that "Christians are not boring", a catch cry on a local Anglican church youth group's home page. God bless you in your work.

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Are Ship of Fools correspondents like Christian leaders all disgracefully male?!?! More likely women have better things to do! Good to see the Ship getting ready to sail…

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As for Catholic tat… I frequently run the PA desk in my church. A few years ago, the place was made available to an RC singing monk, who strummed a few songs to the delight of a crowd of devoted fans, some of whom had travelled miles to the gig. The highlight of the evening was the merchandising pitch. Opened my mind, I tell you! This multi-talented brother had a fabulous range of hand-croched items for sale, including a stunning croched toilet roll cover! And he did the crochet!! Reservations about one-man ministry aside, who needs a U2 teeshirt when this cutting edge gear is available? I shall be speaking to Greenbelt Festival organisers. Some catching up to do, methinks.

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Have you thought about covering Catholic tat? I came across a tacky light bulb with an element shaped as a crucifix, or the Virgin Mary snow storm that you wound up, and it rotated, playing 'Ave Maria'! Or luminous rosary beads so you can pray at night? The list goes on…

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So long and so hard my flock and I prayed against your magazine. I was very saddened to see that the 'magazine' has resurfaced. I see we will need to do battle again in high places. It won't last.

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Good to hear that you are surfacing on the Net. I missed the magazines of yesteryear, but the ability to laugh at yourself is vital to a heathy spirituality. Too much religion makes people crusty. Spike Milligan once quipped that some people carry their religion around like a headache. The whole idea of being perfect and holy as a fallen and very human being is the biggest joke since Adam was a lad. Tickling the funny bone exposes hypocrisy and silly pride.

Has anyone noticed how humourless most charismatics are, for all their talk of 'joy'? They daren't let the mask slip on their true feelings or they might just remember that they are human and not totally redeemed and in heaven. The Zen Buddhist tradition knows how to kick pious oafs up the rump as an aid to their enlightenment, so get those boots on and get kicking!

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Looking forward to the site being up and running properly in the new year. It's nice to have a fresh source of Christian satire to use in youth groups and schock congregations in sermons… up to now I've been relying on an old Winebibber annual and various other things like that… I guess I'm too young to remember Ship of Fools first time round. I especially liked the John Calvin's newsround item about the Klingon Bible… being a Trekkie and a Christian this is right up my street…

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A long time ago… about 1981, before NOS was even a thought in the cranium of brainium, when Dave Tomlinson sang choruses (and enjoined others to do so without blushing)…

the flickering embers of latent post-evangelicalism were fanned (all too briefly) into life with the arrival of Ship of Fools which styled itself as the 'magazine of Christian unrest', and was (in my experience) the first Christian magazine to take the p*** out of silly choruses (remember 'I want a man…'?) and to tell the story of the 'vision' seen in the Charismatic Albert Hall rally of an evil octopus straddling the city of London with its 'testicles all over the city…'

The Ship sadly sank without trace in 1983, but left our lives permanently altered. But look! rejoice! the mast can be seen arising from the waves again with such delights as 'John Calvin's Newsround', and the 'St Onan Awards'. Read on…

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We came into contact with SOF whilst part of All Souls in the late 70's early 80's. I kept the issues that we had in a box, which somehow survived at least 4 house moves and a spell in remotest Tanzania. I was delighted to come across them again only this year – thought that they were lost. I wanted to show my teenage daughter a slightly different perspective on Christian thinking that was around in our student days. Welcome back – the time must be right for more of the same approach.

I relinquished a three year spell as Churchwarden of a big, typically Evangelical church ('got all the answers, let's pack more in') a couple of years back, and cling on to Third Way for a balanced approach to Christian thought. Went with the family for a day at Greenbelt this year, hoping that their theme would lead to a renewed perception of the value of 'fools' to God's Kingdom.

Look forward to the new magazine – will anything be published, or is that looking too far ahead? Good luck, and may God bless your work!

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