The Fruitcake Zone

Welcome to the Fruitcake Zone. In our opinion, there's no fruitcake like religious fruitcake, and the proof of this particular pudding can be sampled in these sites. Some are wild and wonderful, while others are weird and disturbing.

While you're out there, if you see any sites you think the rest of us would enjoy, please hit this and let us know about it.

Todd Strandberg

Rapture Ready – One of Todd Strandberg's claims to fame is that he once emailed Microsoft's Bill Gates to ask him if he is the Antichrist. Gates didn't reply, which must constitute some sort of positive proof. He also runs this seminal site, with its Rapture Index. The Index monitors 45 world trends which 'point towards the return of Christ', each trend awarded a maximum of five points according to their danger level. When the Index overall dips below 85 points, the world is bumping along in an era of 'slow prophetic activity'; above 110 points it is enjoying a time of 'heavy prophetic activity'. Today's reading? Click the link and prepare for blessing!

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The NunBun – In the site's own words…

On October 15 1996, a cinnamon bun bearing a striking resemblance to the Holy Mother of Calcutta, Mother Teresa, was discovered in Nashville, Tennessee, by Bongo Java Coffeehouse employee Ryan Finney. 'I was horrified because I almost ate this religious piece of dough,' said Finney.

A visit to this site is a must – watch the bun morph into Mother Teresa, hear the story of this apparition, and read the letter which M.T. herself fired off to the site a few months before she died. To see the bun morph into the nun without leaving the Ship of Fools site, click here.

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Arthur Blessitt

Arthur Blessitt – Remember Arthur Blessitt, the 1970s Jesus freak who carried a 12-foot wooden cross wherever he went? Me neither. But apparently he's still walking the world with his cross and has now notched up an impressive 32,301 miles. He reports that his cross 'has been turned away from being left overnight at more than half the churches requested, but has never been turned away from spending the night at a bar or nightclub in 27 years around the world.' Click on the link above for all the Blessitt facts.

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The First Church of Jesus Christ, Elvis – A truly tasteless site, with links to other places where you can worship the King. Also hit this for a list of striking proofs that Elvis and Jesus are one and the same. Particularly convincing are these… 'Jesus was part of the Trinity. Elvis' first band was a trio.' 'Jesus is the Lord's shepherd. Elvis dated Cybill Shepherd.' And the clinching argument… 'Jesus was the lamb of God. Elvis had mutton chop sideburns.'

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Jesus Jesus of the Week – This site has amassed over 90 pictures of 'the Manger Main Man' (as site creator Peter Gilstrap calls him), culled from pious posters, book jackets, Bible study notes and album covers. Hippy Jesus (No.20), Marlboro Man Jesus (No.50), Spooky Jesus (No.54), Jesus 'closing the deal' with a depressed businessman (No.90) – they're all there, with a new picture added each week…

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Sister Rossetta Ask Sister Rossetta – Sister R. claims to be a nun, but if nuns like this do exist, then why are the convents not full to bursting? Each week, Rossetta addresses herself to several of the pressing problems of the moment. Currently, she is considering Pat Boone's conversion to heavy metal ('the Bible clearly states that only sinners could wear black leather…'), the reason why dinosaur bones are on earth, and choosing underwear which is explicitly approved in the pages of scripture (with helpful illustrations). The Lavender Nun also hears email confessions and answers problems.

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Proxy Prayers – Somebody – anybody – please… tell me that this grotesque site doesn't exist. Here's the pitch: you know how it is being a busy executive. You don't have time for all those little things – like prayer, for example. So why not 'outsource' – hire someone to do it for you? Proxy Prayers has a team of people who are ready to pray, fast, flagellate themselves, go without sex for a year and even crawl on their hands and knees into Jerusalem – all for your benefit and at a wave of your credit card. Nice…

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Churches Ad Hoc

Churches Ad Hoc – Take a mobile chapel on wheels. Or an onion-dome church next door to a Chinese billboard. Or a church with a poster proudly announcing that it stands against 'truth decay'. Now put a sharp-eyed photographer (Mr Herman Krieger) in front of them, and see what happens. The result is a clever and very amusing site with a photo essay on American oddball churches, complete with captions loaded with enviable puns and wordplays.

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