Spanish Curse Foils Book Thieves
Pope Blows in the Wind
Swarm of 'Saviours' Claim Ernie's Cash
Baptism is Painless
Icon's Dubious Track Record
Pulpit Blackmail
©"He's Russian Orthodox."
Suddenly religious shoplifters have decided to go and sin no more. Two penitents have even sent back large parcels of books.
John Pendlebury, 34, owner of a second-hand bookshop in Stamford Hill, North London, said he had tried a surveillance camera and confrontation. He posted on his shelves copies of the Eighth Commandment, 'Thou shalt not steal'. But still the thefts continued. On one day alone, he apprehended an Anglican priest and a rabbi stealing books from the Psalms section. On another occasion, an entire half shelf of books disappeared.
With thefts costing him hundreds of pounds a year, Mr Pendlebury was stumped until a friend visited the monastery of San Pedro in Barcelona. 'He saw the curse in the monastery's library and immediately thought of me,' Mr Pendlebury said. He decided to try the curse and to his surprise the thefts ceased instantly.
'It is not meant to be an actual curse on anyone,' he said. 'It is rather meant to prod people's consciences. I have not noticed any books at all going missing in the last two or three months.'
The Times, London, 4th October 1997
'You say the answer is blowing in the wind, my friend,' he observed. 'So it is. But it is not the wind that blows things away, it is the wind that is the breath and life of the Holy Spirit, the voice that calls and says, Come!'
Clearly enjoying the thunderous applause that greeted these words, the Pope continued in a style that would not have disgraced a TV Evangelist: 'You ask me, how many roads must a man walk down before he becomes a man? I answer: one! There is only one road for man, and it is the road of Jesus Christ, who said I am the Way and the Life.'
Unsurprisingly, Dylan was not seen to be taking notes for revised lyrics to his song.
Ship of Fools, 29th September 1997
Retired teacher Ernest died in 1976 aged 81. He spent his last years in a tent in the living room of his Portsmouth home surrounded by crucifixes. In his bequest, which had a 21-year deadline, he said the cash should be invested in case Jesus turned up and needed it. Most of the money has gone to relatives who challenged the will.
Daily Mirror, London, 24th September 1997
Comedian Ivor Dembina, reported in the Independent on Sunday, London, 23rd April 1995
The guardians of this religious treasure were prepared to send it to Athens, but only if the normal protocol was observed. It would have meant laying on a guard of honour with a full military band saluting the icon when it reached the mainland.
Perhaps it was the icon's track record that convinced Mrs Papendreou to call off the plans. It has left Tinos only twice, to try to save the ailing King Paul of Greece and to help Athens Panathanaikos football team in a match at Wembley. King Paul died and Panathanaikos lost.
UK Newspaper report
He said in Sunday's Lent sermon on sin: 'If you don't stop talking about me and the churchwarden, I won't give you Communion. If I were a Muslim, I could wish that your fingernails fall out.' He said later: 'I wanted to quash rumours about myself. I hoped some of the things I said would be taken in a light-hearted manner.'
UK Newspaper report, 1996
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